29 from geelong, australia married to my soul mate, Taylor

ihaveabadcaseofthefandoms:

lizthefangirl:

xibalbadance:

Mother fuckin’ Jim Carrey

i have searched

for this gifset

for all eternity

this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

(Source: ladybrevity, via donker-mag)

Notes
575541
Posted
2 weeks ago

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

(Source: moshita, via royeah)

Notes
283568
Posted
2 weeks ago

Let’s make the Flubber movie cover the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

mymompickedthisurl:

thewinchesterswagger:

image

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF

(Source: mspandrew, via royeah)

Notes
12695883
Posted
2 weeks ago
royeah:

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:But O heart! heart! heart!O the bleeding drops of red,Where on the deck my Captain lies,Fallen cold and dead.

royeah:

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Notes
180
Posted
2 weeks ago
O Capitan my Capitan →

fashionisbreath:

O Capitan my Capitan, I’ll never have a friend like you.
To play board games with me that make our town into a zoo.
Or create a new green friend made of goo.
Someone who yells bangarang as pirates attack.
Or teaches me life lessons while I’m stuck in the back.
Curing me with laughter while…

Notes
169
Posted
2 weeks ago

Hook: That’s Right Peter…

(Source: peachschnappsmoonshine)

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871
Posted
2 weeks ago
ninjaink:

RIP Robin Williams — in the place between sleep and awake.

ninjaink:

RIP Robin Williams — in the place between sleep and awake.

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1251
Posted
2 weeks ago

charmeduponyou:

Goodbye Peter Pan I hope you never grow old,
Goodbye to the Genie who granted wishes untold,
Goodbye to the man who played a deadly game,
Goodbye to Mrs. Doubtfire whose boobs went aflame.
Goodbye Robin Williams, we will remember your name.

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3831
Posted
2 weeks ago
lemonaidblistex:

This girl is seriously the best.

lemonaidblistex:

This girl is seriously the best.

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18660
Posted
2 weeks ago
Taylor now wants to call our daughter Bruce!

Taylor now wants to call our daughter Bruce!

Posted
2 weeks ago
psychedelicatessenn:

stunningpicture:

I don’t know shit about photography, but the person who took this shot must be given the highest award of them all.

this is breathtaking

psychedelicatessenn:

stunningpicture:

I don’t know shit about photography, but the person who took this shot must be given the highest award of them all.

this is breathtaking

(via zestylemondrop)

Notes
182707
Posted
2 weeks ago

the very serious cast of a very serious show

(Source: titansdaughter, via melinoerose)

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14148
Posted
2 weeks ago

Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition and common sense. A woman can have all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel. Natalie Dormer

(Source: nataliedomrer, via scarycatz)

Notes
93424
Posted
2 weeks ago
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